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Daddy, She Gets Away With Everything

Nathan and NoahAs parents, Liz and I set out to love all our children equally and not show favoritism.

So, when one of our children accuse me of treating their sibling better than I treat them, I have to admit, it really irritates me.

The fact that these accusations normally surface during a grilling session, I’m very quick to dismiss the comment as nonsense but the thoughts keep lingering in my head.

“Am I neglecting this child?”

“Am I being unfair?”

“Do I have a favorite?”

It would hurt me if I came to the realization that any of the answers to these questions were true, and I would truly do my best to rectify the situation.

It was also a stark reminder that I should be asking these questions of myself regularly and discussing them with with Liz in order to maintain healthy relationships with our kids.

If I were to be asked if we treated our kids differently, the answer would be a resounding “yes!”

All three of them have completely different and unique personalities, and at the same time equally wonderful.  The key here is that each child relates differently to us as parents.  There is no “one size fits all” rule when it comes to raising children.

But while we can treat our kids differently, we love them exactly the same and aim not to treat one better than the other.  We want to see each one of them explore and exhaust every potential they have.  We want each of them to evolve into Godly men and woman, full of good character.  We want them to find great partners in life and be surrounded in the joy their own families will bring.

Essentially, we have dreams for them while they are yet too young to have their own.  As they grow older and finally realize their own dreams, Liz and I will be here to champion them and help them to achieve it.

Our heavenly Father has big dreams for us – His children – bigger dreams than we could come up with for our own children.  It doesn’t matter how much more blessed someone else looks – God has no favorites!  He loves you just the same and He wants the best for you.

So forget about how God seems to be relating to others – focus only on your relationship with Him.  As we mature as believers our dreams and ambitions will hopefully fall in line with what God has already scripted for our lives.  God created you to be you.  So, Embrace the story YOU were meant to live!


3 thoughts on “Daddy, She Gets Away With Everything

  1. is it possible not to favor? I always wondered at the families in the bible and their references to either the father or mother having a favorite. Or even the Lord favoring one over another. I struggled with this thought before I had Maggie. It seems both natural and inevitable that a parent should have a favorite–even when love is equal. So far my two kids require different things, and I pray that my worst fears of favoritism don’t creep in.


    • Good question, Jillien. If love was truly equal, then surely favoritism would be non-existent. Favoring one child over another, is putting their desires and dreams above that of the other.

      I’m not sure I would state it’s possible not to favor. I think it’s a continuous check that us as parents need to make and realign when necessary.

      I remember when Liz was expecting Noah and I used to think how we could have room to love another child as much as we loved our first born. Love is a strange and wonderful thing.


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